the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
