Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
