Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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