Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
