the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
