after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
