Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
