there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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