i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Your dad touched me again.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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