My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
