I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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