So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If I die, sorry about rent.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
