carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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