i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
