We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
