I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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