You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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