My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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