Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
