I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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