one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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