Don't you send me to vm
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thus making me awesome and them whores
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
