He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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