my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
