I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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