Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
