Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So vagazzling was a success
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