Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
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