i jhust puked up my retainher.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
