no, he came in my armpit
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
