Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize