haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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