Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
