I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
