Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
