i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
