at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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