Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
