C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
