GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
