Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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