Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
