Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
