No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
