I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
