We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
