Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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