Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dewbe hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.

Fav 10 1337 913
share tweet
(312): View more from Illinois

I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.

Fav 5 3364 1198
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

That's not a bad idea, actually...

Fav 19 4295 940
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.

Fav 7 1239 4907
share tweet
(302): View more from Delaware

She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.

Fav 17 835 3407
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.

Fav 7 732 2385
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.

Fav 8 1652 735
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+52): View more from Mexico

I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.

Fav 1 732 394
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.

Fav 0 16 60
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT