at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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