i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
