My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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