i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
